Costco Doesn’t Have To Be Like This
When did shopping at America’s favorite warehouse become so harrowing?
As a millennial (born 1990) I remember Costco being kind of hectic. But no more than a typical indoor shopping experience, like a mall, or a rodeo.
But now…I mean what is happening in there? Honestly? Last time I nearly died getting out of the parking lot. People honking, lining up for spots, screaming at pedestrians. It’s like every person believes they will simply die if they do not get inside and eat an $1.50 hot dog right the fuck now.
And I get it. The price of everything is skyrocketing, and Costco offers the best deals. But does it have to feel like rush-hour traffic in LA? Why does shopping always take at least an hour? Why does it take two hours to recover? WHO KEEPS LEAVING THESE PACKAGES OF RAW MEAT EVERYWHERE?!
I pride myself on being able to shop off-hours, but Costco seems immune to such feeble efforts. It is as busy at 3 pm on a Tuesday as it is lunchtime on Sunday. If you plan to suckle at the sweet teat of the Costco Warehouse, you must wield an eight-foot-long, 300 lb cart through throngs of humanity.
It’s not Costco’s fault. Costco is doing the best it can, given the circumstances. Who knew that the price of necessities was going to skyrocket?
We are living in what I call the "noticeable" generation. It is noticeably hotter than it used to be, year -round. Christmas is balmy. Gas is noticeably more expensive. Housing is noticeably more expensive. Everything that was always expensive, like cars and dinners out, guess what?
Costco is a good business that keeps its prices reasonable and actually pays its employees well. An unfortunate side effect is that the experience of shopping there is now more like international travel than “picking up some La Croix at the store.”
There are other options. You can actually get Costco from Uber Eats in Portland, OR. The convenience cannot be denied, but any price savings are negated by Uber Eats adding mysterious “fees” that range between 20-80 dollars (and I guess are decided by some kind of crystal ball?)
It’s one thing when they gouge me on my local restaurant prices, but adding an extra 20 dollars to every item seems excessive, even by “evil corporate overlord” standards.
If you are getting non-perishables and are willing to wait a few days, you can always just use Costco’s online delivery service. I do that if I need dog food and feel that seeing another rack of ribs abandoned in the toy aisle will break my spirit.
The problem isn’t just a crowded store. It’s me. Its….us. I used to live in New York City, where I rode a packed subway to and from work every day. No masks! No hand sanitizer! Masses of humanity just breathing on each other, acquiring germs, not making eye contact.
Then the pandemic happened. Sure, 2020 was six years ago, but people still seem traumatized. The protectionist nature, the loneliness. Follow that up with what the history books will call “cascading crises" leading to sky high prices, stagnant wages, and overall misery.
We are grumpy. We are tired, we are stretched thin and overwhelmed. All of these things make the minor inconvenience of getting stuck behind an oblivious slow walker into the emotional equivalent of sandpaper on your brain.
I don’t have a solution. Costco doesn’t have a solution. Like I said, it is just a store. It’s up to us to try to navigate this new normal. Cut each other some slack. The person blocking the entire aisle with a combination of carts, children, and mobility scooters is not your enemy, (as much as it may feel like it in the moment. )
Waiting 5 minutes for a parking spot is not something that needs to induce a massive stroke. Costco will still have hot dogs when you get inside, and they will still cost $1.50 (with drink)
Please note I do not use AI for any part of my writing process. AI is poop from a butt
